Friday, April 13, 2012

Four Decades...

A candle for each decade. Today I celebrated 4 decades of life. I really can't believe it and I thought it would hit me alright but I woke up this morning utterly in tears. I couldn't quite figure out why I was so upset and crying, but the pit of my stomach and my heart sunk. Maybe I was feeling a little sorry for myself, which for the most part it is very rare. I am not afraid to get older...I just can't pin point why I felt the way I did. I am reminded by God that I am so very loved and worth so much to my husband and children. I know that I am loved, I am blessed. I have nothing to be sorry for, nothing to regret, I have everything I could ever ask for and am content. It took almost all day for me to snap out of it. My dear Mr. Darling gave me a special card and brought home little cupcakes, my daughter made me one and my son came home with the sweetest card, it brought the tears on instantly. We had a little pizza party and went to the movies. My son also bought tickets to see a Pianist in concert after church on Sunday. What a sweet gift.
I am looking forward to us going out to something so special.

As I ponder on this life so far. I am ever so greatful to the good Lord above, even though the beginnings were rocky. My family was a bit unstable, we moved all the time, then the family broke into pieces after my dad left us. I still struggled in life as a young adult until I met my true love who came into my life like a knight in shining armor ( Mr. Darling ). It was not long after that when we were both saved by God. The road hasn't always been an easy one, with the loss of our second child, six years of illness which left me almost bed ridden which led to depression and other health issues that I still deal with today. I couldn't have gone through all that without God's grace and healing hands, or without my dear husband and children and those who cared the most who were always by my know who you are. It has been almost five years since I have been better, even with the little things that seem to keep me down, I know I can do all things through Christ who has given me strength. My life today: I have grown in faith, I try very hard to be the best mother I can be for He has given me the bestest children ever. I try to be the bestest wife ever.... I hug and kiss my kids & husband and tell them I love them many times everyday and in return I am full. I couldn't ask for anyhting more than that.

I am so greatful where God has led us thus far. With a chance to start fresh as soon as Mr. Darling graduates from Seminary this May. I will become a Pastors wife...I look forward to that new chapter in our lives. Watching our children grow up...One is almost ready to fly from the nest... I look forward to what God has in store and thankful for the 4 decades he has given me to grow in Him.
 I pray God will give me another 4 decades. That would be wonderful.
P.S. The picture above shows the two canvas pics. I got to make for my birthday.
Thank You Mr. Darling...I love them.


  1. Happy Birthday Mica!! 40 is not so bad. You'll see. This will be a wonderful decade for you! It was a time of great growth for me. Life is hard. I don't know how people without faith get through it. Love you! xxoo

  2. Happy Birthday Mica! I'm about 11 years ahead of you. its really not so bad. (most days! LOL!)
    anyways, i'm glad your family took good care of you on your special day!
    YOu do have a wonderful family.

  3. Happy Birthday! From what you have said, probably the prospect of moving (and all of the uncertainty, of where you'll be living, etc. in the coming year) has awakened a lot of the stresses and feelings you had when you were young, dealing with frequent moves and uncertainty. And birthdays can trigger a lot of emotion all on their own.

    You can "know" in your head and even in your soul that you will be taken care of, that all will be well -- but your young child feelings are still your feelings and they are there. Jesus had perfect faith, but even He felt scared and worried sometimes.

  4. Hello sweet Mica! Happy Birthday dear one! May the Lord continue to richly bless you! Thank your for sharing your beautiful heart, for you are truly beautiful inwardly and outwardly and you look so young! I think 40 is young! I am 42 and so grateful to be alive, as I know you are! It is fine you felt the way you did, so please don't be hard on yourself. You have suffered and been through a lot, but you also are very grateful, happy and positive and have had much joy in your 4 decades too! I think sometimes things build up inside of us and then comes the blessed relief of tears! I am so happy your birthday was lovely and your family gave you such sweet and thoughtful gifts! I love all of the beautiful photos you shared and reading all you shared about your life! I can see your heart is full of Jesus and joy! You are an inspiration! So talented and creative and you are a fantastic mom and wife! Though I have not had the privilege of meeting you in person, I can see all of this through your photos and writings. You are a wonderful testimony for the Lord! I pray your health continues to improve and that the Lord will give you a special blessing! You have many more years to look forward to and some exciting times ahead. I admire you so much! Love and hugs and best birthday wishes sweetie! xo~Paula