Sunday, May 11, 2014

My Thoughts On Being A Mother....

I have been a Mama now for 20 years. It is hard to believe how quickly it has flown past me. It seems like yesterday really, that I became a mama for the first time. My pregnancy went well, except for the first five months of morning sickness that wasn't just in the morning. Other than that it was great. I gave birth to my first child, my son...It was an easy birth. Labor for 6 hours, all natural and pushed him out into the world in 30 minutes. He was a big bundle. weighing 9 pounds 11 ounces. He was amazing in every way. He made motherhood a breeze. he was easy going, compliant and loving. I was blessed to spend his first 6 years of his life as an only child. We lost our next child in utero about 21 weeks along. It crushed our hearts to pieces. I didn't think that I would have another chance to mother again... Years passed by and we were content. God however had another blessing in store for us, a huge unexpected, but definitely wanted blessing...Along came my baby number two, my daughter. This pregnancy was scary...Because of my RH Negative blood type and the loss of our baby in between, my baby girls life was possibly on the line. I was very sick with her, the whole 9 months. It was about 26 weeks into the pregnancy when I went to get my rhogam shot for my blood type, we learned that our blood had crossed, my body saw her as a foreign object and was trying to attack her. They had to monitor me in hopes that I would carry full term. They told me that there would be a possibility I would lose her and that she may be stillborn, or have brain damage. I have never been so scared in my whole life. God protected her in my womb, but did bring on early labor. Our baby girl came into this world 5 1/2 weeks early...It was a long labor, the epidural didn't work, so I ended up birthing all natural but in a lot of pain, I mean a lot of pain. At 6 lbs 7 ounces, she was born alive,Thanks be to God!!! No brain damage, perfectly fine despite really bad jaundice. I wondered if she would give me a run for my money this time around. I laid my eyes on her and instantly fell head over heals in love. She was a fussy bug and refused to be out of my sight or she would literally throw up on her dad. God is good. He gave me two completely different spectrums, 6 years apart. I had to learn different mothering skills with each. It is a beautiful thing though, since we are each so very unique, not one is ever the same.

It was a trip for sure. We were able to nip a lot of the strong wills in the bud, before it became a routine or a very bad habit. It was hard work. Who ever said that motherhood or parenting would be easy? I would do it all over again, even the hard stuff. I have been so very blessed beyond measure, that I was able to spend everyday with my children at home, in a loving atmosphere, growing together in our faith and learning together as we homeschooled. Now 20 years later, my first baby bird grew up, spreading his wings and left the nest. This has been a crazy feeling for this mama and surely is for most mama's. It happened too fast, I swore I wouldn't blink... But I did, and he is now his own person out on his own. I do know that he left our nest with a great foundation and a lot of love. He was raised to be a good, hard working, God fearing young man. I trust that God will provide for him a good life and that he will take with him the wisdom and the undying love we strived to give him and that he would always give all the Glory to our God. I miss him living under our roof and being here. He flew a little too far away for my taste. It just boggles my mind and I still cry over it at times. These years being a mama are just way too short.

Since we do have a six year gap between our babes. I have the honor of raising my little fledgling. I have only been her mama just shy of 14 years now. We still have a way to go until she flys off. Though I have told her many a time, that we will not let her go. I know she will fly one day...But for now she will stay close to the nest. She has some tendencies to being a lot more strong willed than her brother, which is sometimes a struggle. But we persevere through the rocky parts very quickly. I have always been able to bring her back in to reality, with love and a lot of patience. She is still very attached to me and that is okay with me too. I know people have always said to never be 'friends" with your kids, but I think that is pretty extreme as long as they are not running all over you and they have respect, knowing first and foremost that you are their parent, I feel there is also a sweet bond of friendship. Especially when you enjoy the same sort of things. I have been blessed once again with great relationships with my kids. We have always talked to our children, we have shared our faith, we have always been open, we have been truthful,  and yes, even we have had to reprimand for their benefit. And not every day was always a bed of roses... My kids always have enjoyed their time with us in play or doing mundane life stuff. We have enjoyed the same sort of music, games, hobbies etc.... My kids always went thrifting with me and to flea markets or antique shops, always enjoying that with me, they too have adopted the ritual of that past time. it has been fun. These days now with my girl has been filled with those same things. We love to go shopping together, we learn together, we watch movies together, we talk and giggle about whatever fancies us, we have tea together, we read the bible and pray together...Okay we're always together and sometimes it feels like we are just the best of friends, yet she knows too, I am her mom.

I know I don't deserve any of these delightful blessings in my life. But still God has gifted me with it. I am so thankful, so very grateful that He chose me...ME!!!!!!!...To be their Mama. I am humbled that He gave me these very special, unique, people.... I am in awe daily...What a gift to be chosen by a loving God, to raise His children up for Him. He chose me for this very task. If this would be my only purpose in this life, I will graciously take it. It is an honor to be a mother.

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