Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Pies Before Guys

Who doesn't love pie??? I love pie! I spotted this T~shirt on Honey & Hive's IG. I love her bold art and sense of style with a touch of vintage whimsy...I had to have the shirt and even though I am happily married...The shirt title didn't phase me...But it's a message to all the young girls in my life. One girl specifically is my daughter. She recently found a cute shirt that say's "Fries Before Guys". She is newly 15 years old...so young...so innocent in many ways...We have seen young girls start out in the dating scene at a tender age of 13-16 and have seen so many girls infatuated who think it's love,  but left to be crushed by something that was very premature. 

I look back at my younger years....I went through the pain and a crushed broken heart, even abuse, because I not only didn't have a good role model, I was left to do what I wanted and thought I was so grown up. I didn't have life experience or parental guidance or another woman in my life who really cared enough to guide me into another direction. My parents were divorced, my dad was not around during these years and I had a very young inexperienced step father who never had kids...As I got older and then married...I ended up with life experience all right...
But a broken one which I sadly had to bring into my marriage.

As a Christian family...We take the Bible to be the word of God. I am very aware that there will be nay nayers with thoughts, morals and beliefs of this world, 
but our family feels very strongly about this and ultimately we
 stand on God's authority and truth as truth.

Although the words “courtship” and “dating” are not found in the Bible, we are given some principles that Christians are to go by during the time before marriage. The first is that we must separate from the world's view on dating because God's way contradicts the world's (2 Peter 2:20). While the world’s view may be to date around as much as we want, the important thing is to discover the character of a person before making any commitment to him or her. We should find out if the person has been born again in the Spirit of Christ (John 3:3-8) and if he or she shares the same desire toward Christ-likeness (Philippians 2:5). The ultimate goal of dating or courting is finding a life partner. The Bible tells us that, as Christians, we should not marry an unbeliever (2 Corinthians 6:14-15) because this would weaken our relationship with Christ and compromise our morals and standards.

When one is in a committed relationship, whether dating or courting, it is important to remember to love the Lord above all else (Matthew 10:37). To say or believe that another person is “everything” or the most important thing in one’s life is idolatry, which is sin (Galatians 5:20Colossians 3:5). Also, we are not to defile our bodies by having premarital sex (1 Corinthians 6:9132 Timothy 2:22). Sexual immorality is a sin not only against God but against our own bodies (1 Corinthians 6:18). It is important to love and honor others as we love ourselves (Romans 12:9-10), and this is certainly true for a courtship or dating relationship. Whether dating or courting, following these biblical principles is the best way to have a secure foundation for a marriage. It is one of the most important decisions we will ever make, because when two people marry, they cleave to one another and become one flesh in a relationship which God intended to be permanent and unbreakable (Genesis 2:24Matthew 19:5).

 Marriage must involve three persons: God, the husband and the wife. Enter the marriage relationship fully realizing the life long commitment and that God forbids divorce (Matt. 5:32; 19:9). Choose your marriage partner carefully. One should never enter a relationship, as intimate as marriage, with those who refuse to honor Jesus as Lord (2 Cor. 6:14-18).

This is what we pray for our daughter. To be able to wait to "date" right away. To choose that future guy as being someone to potentially marry...not to date around and get her heart broke every time because it wasn't the right guy. I pray she would want to date or court one young man with a plan that this particular relationship be for marriage. Perhaps some readers don't agree or don't get it...But I know for certain it can be done this way in this
 very worldly world where a lot of people have accepted the opposite... 

I personally know many many people who have stayed on track and believes that God's word is true for them and their relationships....And it is truly beautiful. I will not allow anyone else to tell me different. God's word is my truth and what I lean on....Certainly not by man's or the world's words. I had to learn the hard way...I learned that relationships don't work when you pretend your so adult and act like your married but not, or having premarital sex which can lead to very bad consequences that your unprepared for....like having babies out of wedlock when your not ready or the girl is dumped because the boy can't be man enough to own up to it and commit. I have learned that you can't truly have a great relationship with another when your world view or morals are opposite or the other person is not a believer as you are. Some of this I have experienced first hand and some of this I have seen and have observed to be very unhealthy. 

So back to my young girl. She is very much at the stage where guy's are a big deal. Her conversations are about cute guys and who crushes on who. This is normal stuff...to have these kind of feelings for the opposite sex. We have conversations all the time about how that is normal, but for now at this stage in her young life, there are more important things to be focusing on. Dating at this time is not in the picture. Being a child of God, learning His word, loving and helping her parents, family and friends, learning more about herself, her goals, and giving time for maturity and growth, having fun with family and friends without being bound to some hormonal boy with lack of self control, life experience and maturity is out of the question for a few more seasons at least. I do believe working on some of these things while young will make for a better relationship for both her and her future husband. Even her future husband would be thankful for that. It's a beautiful thing if you can go into a
  Future marriage relationship with another and having a heart that wasn't stolen or broken into pieces 
by others and that someone saved themselves for that marriage.

My message for my daughter is to wait for that somebody special just as God has created things to be. There's no rush! Not at this age for sure...and she knows this too. I'll just keep telling her to have some pie until that special guy comes along.

Pray for your kids! Pray too for their future spouses.

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