Monday, April 18, 2011

Sticks and Stones...

May break my bones but words
 will never hurt me!
I wish we can all say that is true. Deep in our hearts, it does hurt when someone speaks cruelly towards you. When I was a young girl, I was made fun of because I was kind of  a silly clowny girl and my mom would cut my hair reallly short when she didn't want to deal with my long curls that would knot up. I would scream when she tried to brush through my locks, so she cut them off instead. I had to pay the price at school with kids calling me a boy. It did hurt, it made me cry, it even gave me a complex for years...well into my adulthood. Now that I have children of my own...They too have had to suffer at some very hurtful remarks. Kids would tease my son for his ears stick out a bit...And sadly at present my little girl has been hurt by words...Kids calling her" fat". Okay, my girl may be a bit round...No matter though she is very healthy, very sweet, very loving, funny, sensitive and beautiful...Not only on the outside...But inside. This has been a long sensitive road this last year as she is now going through puberty...She has grown a whole head taller in the last year...But the words have stung her...Which has made her dislike herself, and even feel that she is unloved by the other children. I had found a very sad note she had written to herself and left in her drawer which said, she was sad and feels fat and ugly and that no one wants to play with her or likes her. This has even crushed me.. We have had long talks and prayed as well as worked through some Biblical studies on what God thinks of us and our image. It is nothing like what man thinks of people. We have told her over and over that she is beautiful inside and out and how very much she is loved and is very special to us, that it doesn't matter what the "kids" think of her...It matters only what God thinks.
We have read scripture and character books... I have taught her not to fear man (or peers). She is wonderfully made by God in His image. God certainly does not make mistakes! I know she still feels the hurt...Yet, we have been able to laugh about it...I myself have become round in the last years.... and made the mistake of saying something very mean about myself in front of her...She started to cry and told me how beautiful I am! Then we were able to talk some more about putting ourselves down. I was able to see even how wrong it is for us to do that to ourselves! Like I said, God doesn't make mistakes. We are made in His image so putting ourselves down is like putting God down. He certainly didn't create a grotesque world, surely He did not make grotesque people. He loves His people. It is only people that are blind. Unfortunately this is a fallen world filled with many ignorant people... Sad but true.
So, what do we do? We need to believe God's word and know that He loves us and created each one of us in a special unique way like no other...We need to pray for those who are blinded. I pray that these bullies will open their eyes and see that they can surely hurt with words. I pray that they will come to know God and change their ways. I pray that parents of bullies will guide them onto a better path and teach them about loving their neighbor. I pray that she will come in contact with true friends who will uplift her and love her for who she is. My daughter has been strengthened quite a bit through this as her faith has also grown. She is a better person, knowing this truth and seeing her beauty is unique and special and glorifies God in all she does. She is learning to love herself.
She has learned it is not what you look like that makes you!!!
It is your character and your heart that makes you!
 So.... We might be a little round or maybe strange looking...
But not in the sight of God!
I am happy to say that she has even forgiven the ones who have offended her.
That's a big step. She is a happy girl and that makes me happy!
  Each child is uniquely made by God in His image. 
 Therefore, each is special to God and loved by Him. 
 King David wrote in Psalm139,
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”
"After the uncertainties of girlhood, when the crudeness and lack of symmetry in body and mind have put away, and the woman of promise is before us in all her beauty and grace, we are privileged to see in her, who was once a girl, one of the most blessed of God's creation."
From Beautiful Girlhood
I hope that she can now say "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me"... For she can trust in God and let that all slide off her back and know in full assurance and confidence of her unique silhouette, that she was created a masterpiece!
 Samuel 16:7 says,
 “Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” 
For now, she is blooming just as a flower does.
Someday, she will be a rose in full bloom!

Make sure you pause my music playlist before watching this short... short!
Linking to:
Homemaking Link Up


  1. Beautiful post Mica. I, too, was bullied when I was a child. I never felt good enough. I wish that my mother had been able to share with me what you've been able to share with freckles. It would have helped a great deal! I think you have a beautiful daughter there. We are not all built the same, nor do we look the same. Just like the flowers in a garden are all different colours and shapes and sizes, so are we and the whole together makes a beautiful picture! I think freckles is an adorable little girl, and I just love visiting your page to see what you and she get up to. You have a beautiful family. xxoo

  2. You are a wonderful mother and your daughter is beautiful..of course we know that. unfortunetly there are bullies are all around us and they are often people that have been bullied themselves, usually right from their own homes, often by their own parent! Your daughter is a gem and has learned wonderful things as a result of having hurt feelings. Praying for the bullies is important too. LOVE all the pictures!! I really just love how you handled the whole situation with the bible study and the adorable photo shoot. give freckles a hug for me and tell her I think shes ADORABLE!!
    have a happy tuesday!

  3. Sweet Mica, and Precious Abrianna,

    I can only pray my kids grow up with the amount of sweetness, kindness, respect and heart for God as your kids have acquired. I admire not only what you and Tony have done in your parenting, raising and teaching, but you can see evidence of it shining about them in their hearts and lives. My BEAUTIFUL Niece has the most quiet, humble gracious and unique way about her and very WISE TOO for her age. I would rather have this "INSIDE BEAUTY" for my daughter or any little girl for this matter then all the looks in the world, yet ugly in the HEART! - It is true, I have seen little girls Abrianna's age who are very (sassy, bossy, loud, rude, and is interested in only looking older then their age) I tell you Mica, I would count it PURE JOY to have such a Treasure for a daughter. She is everything that God admires, You are right, keep teaching her that Beauty comes from a PURE HEART! I love Freckles the way she is... and She is BEAUTIFUL INSIDE AND OUT!! Love you all. ♥ Nene
    (Proverbs 31:30)

    * ♥ Charm and grace are deceptive, and beauty is vain [because it is not lasting], but a woman who reverently and worshipfully fears the Lord, she shall be praised! ♥

  4. I was bullied and teased relentlessly as a kid to.My children have currently been teased and lost friends just over a haircut.These horrible children who tease I hope will learn a lesson somehow.I feel for my beautiful niece,I have been there being teased and having my children teased.My niece is our beautiful princess and she will always be beautiful inside and out.This will make her stronger,I hope and she should never ever doubt her beauty(in and out)Those girls see her beauty and are just jealous of her because she has true beauty.I love you my niecey.We understand how you feel and have been there.Never doubt yourself.

  5. I love how you handled the bullying. Could you talk to my Daughter about that as well? She has been called fat on many occasions. It's so sad how cruel people can be!

    Hugs to your Daughter!

  6. I know just how your sweet beautiful little girl feels....I have been overweight all my life and had many words that hurt thrown at me....I was heartbroken when I was ten and in the 4th grade...I received a Valentine in my box that said to Fatso....those words were devastating to me and the image I had of myself afterward...Now,my ten year old granddaughter Kalyn is facing the same sort of criticism...she weighs almost 160 heart breaks for her as I know so much what she is going through...I tell her many of the same things you and your husband are telling is a shame how judgmental even other children can be but,sad to say many adults are even more you say they are just so many ignorant people in the world...they criticize and teach their precious children to do the same thing...very,very sad.
    I will pray for your sweet girl along with my Kalyn....this post really touched me Mica...thank you for sharing are a beautiful,very wise,caring mother...your kiddos are so blessed to have you..blessings

  7. It is never okay in my book, even for kids, to hurt anyone's feelings. I have drilled this into my kids who are defenders of others when they see this happen but of course when it happens to them they are crushed. Your poor baby. Life isn't fair and sadly she is learning that as we all have, but it is so very painful to watch our babies go through hurt. Lovely word today and I wish kids could learn from it but with so many electronics, it is easier than ever for kids to hurt others, and do it anonymously. Sad. On a lighter note, I posted about your hat on my blog today. Finally got a good pic of Quinn in it. Thanks again for making it.

  8. She is beautiful inside and out and the most precious little girl ever. She is smart and kind and she looks like me!

    I too was chubby at her age and I too was called fat. You handled this very well Mica. In the next couple of years she will blossom into a beautiful young women and slim down. It is a stage she is going through. I love her just the way she is.

    You tell Bri that Grandma thinks she is beautiful and I love her.
    Love you too Mica xoxoxoxo

  9. Akkk freckles is a beautiful girl (I know I have met her). I and my daughter have been there. It is hard, it hurts, it is not fair, my heart hurts for freckles xoxoxo Clarice

  10. Freckles, sweetie. I'm crying knowing you've been hurt so bad. It really is hard growing up dealing with this kind of pain. I know because I did too.
    I really love you and honestly do think you are a beautiful young woman and I'm glad your parents are helping you see that God's value of you is far more important that what other people think.
    I wish I could give you a big hug and help you ease through these hurts!
    Love you much!
    Aunty Cryss

  11. Your sweet girl is be-a-u-ti-ful! I don't always have time to comment, but this post tugged at my heartstrings. My youngest brother endured years of bullying throughout his childhood. He is 13 years younger than me so I could only guide him and encourage him by letting him know that it was their loss if they didn't want to truly get to know him for the wonderful person he was/is. Let your Soul Shine Honey....there is nothing more beautiful than that! Only a truly beautiful person can treat others with respect and kindness. There is nothing attractive about a mean, judgemental, person who can use ugly words to tear someone else down. What a lucky girl she is to have such a wise and loving mother to guide her. I have to add that her style is adorable too!