Today I am having virtual coffee with Amy over at Lucky Number 13. I have been meaning to participate forever...and finally got over there to have coffee with her...In my case it is tea, since coffee really messes with me in a bad way. So, as I was sipping my tea, my heart was heavy this morning. It is coming close to graduation day for my dear Mr. Darling, from his four year Seminary stretch. I just can't believe the day is almost here and we still don't know where we are going. Good thing is he has a lot of Professors and fellow Pastors passing his name around the country. So with prayer we hope to find out where God wants us to be.
14 years ago we lived in California...and I left with a really bad attitude about California. I said I would NEVER come back. We spent 10 happy years in Washington state where we thought we were going to settle for the remainder of our days. Mr. Darling was working a full time job and going to school working towards a better life for us and giving our lives to something a lot more meaningful. He started working towards his passion to becoming a Pastor. Then the opportunity of seminary came along which meant moving....to CALIFORNIA. Oh my...really? I knew this was an opportunity of a lifetime and who was I to stand in the way of God's will. I prayed and kept my mouth shut. We moved and knew it would only be temporary. God has a good sense of humor I tell you. I came back here with a better attitude than I thought...Yet part of me still would begrudge the possible fact of staying here. But it is not up to me. There are States being thrown around right now with possible Pastor ships. Illinois, Virginia, Georgia, North Dakota, Florida. When Florida came up I couldn't resist opening my big mouth, declaring a huge NO. I lived in Florida for a couple years as a child, I remember Florida, I didn't like Florida. But low and behold it upset Mr. Darling to the point where he didn't want to talk to me. Uh oh, I should have kept my mouth shut. Oh Lord help me keep my mouth shut. It is not up to me if it is His will to move us somewhere I may not like. I came back to Mr. Darling with a fat apology realizing that it is not up to me and if a wonderful opportunity arose to move to a State, perhaps one I didn't like much, I can't stand in the way of God's will. For God knows what is best for us.
The hardest part of leaving though...Even though we don't know where yet. Is leaving family and friends behind. We have grown close to our church family, spending every week with them, having them in our home, going to theirs. These people we will miss. But it's not up to me.
If you were really here having coffee or tea with me...I would share these things with you...and hope to be a good listening ear to whatever is on your heart as well. I would pray with you and hope you would pray with me too. Even though this is a virtual coffee and I was able to write out what was on my heart...This really did help telling you all this. It brought me back to God...that I can't and shouldn't lean on my own, to give it to Him, to pray...giving my heavy heart and burdens no matter how big or small they are over to Him. I am at peace now. Just knowing it is not up to me...And that is okay with me. I don't really want to make that decision alone. I pray He will shut my mouth when I have crossed over boundaries, to be there for my husband through this time, a time we are living by faith alone. For if the opportunity arose to take over a Pastor ship somewhere, It is not up to me where that will be, it is where He wants us to be.
Thanks for joining me. Please do come back again.
51. Knowing I am not alone, I can lean on the Lord for everything
52. Thankful for this huge opportunity, one we will glorify God with
53. Realizing it is not up to me...It is up to God
54. Finding contentment and peace through prayer.
55. Being there for my husband, brings more peace to our home.