Tuesday, March 13, 2012

It's Not Up To Me...

Today I am having virtual coffee with Amy over at Lucky Number 13. I have been meaning to participate forever...and finally got over there to have coffee with her...In my case it is tea, since coffee really messes with me in a bad way. So, as I was sipping my tea, my heart was heavy this morning. It is coming close to graduation day for my dear Mr. Darling, from his four year Seminary stretch. I just can't believe the day is almost here and we still don't know where we are going. Good thing is he has a lot of Professors and fellow Pastors passing his name around the country. So with prayer we hope to find out where God wants us to be.

14 years ago we lived in California...and I left with a really bad attitude about California. I said I would NEVER come back. We spent 10 happy years in Washington state where we thought we were going to settle for the remainder of our days. Mr. Darling was working a full time job and going to school  working towards a better life for us and giving our lives to something a lot more meaningful. He started working towards his passion to becoming a Pastor. Then the opportunity of seminary came along which meant moving....to CALIFORNIA. Oh my...really? I knew this was an opportunity of a lifetime and who was I to stand in the way of God's will. I prayed and kept my mouth shut. We moved and knew it would only be temporary. God has a good sense of humor I tell you. I came back here with a better attitude than I thought...Yet part of me still would begrudge the possible fact of staying here. But it is not up to me. There are States being thrown around right now with possible Pastor ships. Illinois, Virginia, Georgia, North Dakota, Florida. When Florida came up I couldn't resist opening my big mouth, declaring a huge NO. I lived in Florida for a couple years as a child, I remember Florida, I didn't like Florida. But low and behold it upset Mr. Darling to the point where he didn't want to talk to me. Uh oh, I should have kept my mouth shut. Oh Lord help me keep my mouth shut. It is not up to me if it is His will to move us somewhere I may not like. I came back to Mr. Darling with a fat apology realizing that it is not up to me and if a wonderful opportunity arose to move to a State, perhaps one I didn't like much, I can't stand in the way of God's will. For God knows what is best for us.

The hardest part of leaving though...Even though we don't know where yet. Is leaving family and friends behind. We have grown close to our church family, spending every week with them, having them in our home, going to theirs. These people we will miss. But it's not up to me.
If you were really here having coffee or tea with me...I would share these things with you...and hope to be a good listening ear to whatever is on your heart as well. I would pray with you and hope you would pray with me too. Even though this is a virtual coffee and I was able to write out what was on my heart...This really did help telling you all this. It brought me back to God...that I can't and shouldn't lean on my own, to give it to Him, to pray...giving my heavy heart and burdens no matter how big or small they are over to Him. I am at peace now. Just knowing it is not up to me...And that is okay with me. I don't really want to make that decision alone. I pray He will shut my mouth when I have crossed over boundaries, to be there for my husband through this time, a time we are living by faith alone. For if the opportunity arose to take over a Pastor ship somewhere, It is not up to me where that will be, it is where He wants us to be.
Thanks for joining me. Please do come back again.
51. Knowing I am not alone, I can lean on the Lord for everything
52. Thankful for this huge opportunity, one we will glorify God with
53. Realizing it is not up to me...It is up to God
54. Finding contentment and peace through prayer.
55. Being there for my husband, brings more peace to our home.


  1. Praying God's will be done :) Blessings to all

  2. Mica,Thank you so much for stopping by today. I love your blog and look forward to getting to know you through it.

    We were in a situation a little over a year ago. Praying and wondering where God wanted us to be.Philly or Iowa?

    The Lord kept us right here after all!!
    When I pray I ask Him to Bless us according to HIS will :)


  3. lovely to meet you and share coffee with you! we lived in CA when we were first married - my dh is from there and i'm british - and we met some wonderful people - some are still firm friends over 20 years later :)
    trusting you'll find peace in the outcome whatever/wherever it may be...
    thanks for coffee x

  4. Im sitting sipping my tea "by your side" this morning Mica. and I will be praying for you and mr, darling that Gods plan is clear and that you will find it to be the most perfect place ever for you and your family. I know it will be.
    I think it sounds quite exciting! And I think where ever you land, the ladies in your new church will be very lucky to have you in their lives!
    sending up my prayer now!
    have a great day girlfriend!

  5. Loved having tea with you this morning. Thank you for sharing what's on your heart. I will be praying for you and your family Mica! Isn't it great that where ever you end up- God already knows and is getting it all ready for you? Are you sure MT wasn't on that list???
    Blessings to you my friend!!

  6. Visiting from Virtual Coffee.

    We moved from my home state just before November last year. We love our new home, but we are still trying to find our place here. I'll be praying for God's will and an easy transition for you all.

  7. Beautiful heartfelt Post. So very True too. Now that we moved away to another state, (me for the first time ever) I feel related to this in more ways then one. Waiting for an answer if your brother got the job transfer to Texas, I gave it over to the Lord and prayed 'His Will' be done. I prayed that the Lord would close the doors if we weren't suppose to leave our home in California. Doors opened that only God could open, yes... God leads us in all we do when we trust in him, not always easy though. You have been through this moving before, yet each time there is still a need for confirmation from HIM to our hearts. Praying for you all. Peace be to you all during this waiting time too.

    PS. Didn't see "Texas" on that list...lol! Just kidding. Love you.

    Proverbs 16:9
    In their hearts humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps.

  8. COME TO VIRGINIA :) I say selfishly. It is amazing how we are given a path that is always exactly what we need. Give our love to your family!!